Has this ever happened to you? You take your child to the playground and they’re having a blast. Things are great until you say, “It’s time to leave,” and they suddenly start crying and refusing to get into the car.
No one is happy when there are tantrums when it’s time to leave.
For a lot of parents, this is a frequent occurrence and a source of a lot of frustration. But what can you do about it, short of dragging a crying child into the car?
We have some tips that may help you and your child get through the transition tantrum-free.
This blog post was written by Emily Cochran, BA, RBT and edited by Kellie Syfan, M.Ed., BCBA
First tip for halting tantrums when it’s time to leave: Create a schedule ahead of time
Consider creating a schedule before you even leave the house. You can discuss it verbally with your child, but I’ve found that either drawing pictures or writing down the schedule is often more helpful. That way, you and your child can take it with you and review it as much as you need. Creating a schedule with your child’s input gives them more control and can help them feel more independent. For this, you can give your child options, such as:
- “Would you like to go to the library or park today?”
- “Should we spend 30 minutes or 45 minutes there?’
- “We need to stop by the grocery store. Would you like to do that or go to the museum first?”
Giving your child a schedule to lean on can be enough to halt the tantrum before it starts.
Second tip for halting tantrums when it’s time to leave: Give plenty of warning
Having to suddenly stop what you’re doing, especially if you’re having fun, can be upsetting. This is frequently what happens to kids when they have to follow a schedule but don’t yet have a good grasp on time. You can help them through this by giving lots of warnings (15 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 1 minute). Setting a timer on your phone or watch that your child can check up on can ease a lot of worries as well. Visual timer apps for kids are super helpful!
We talk about timers in this blog post on Nighttime Potty Training and in this blog post about stopping toy overwhelm (scroll down to the “supportive timers” section).
Bonus tip: say bye to all of the fun things with your child as you go!
Third tip for halting tantrums when it’s time to leave: Consider having car-specific activities that are super fun
Sitting in the backseat of a car is probably not any kid’s favorite activity, but it has to happen. To make it a little more fun for them, consider having car-specific activities they really enjoy so it’s a little easier to stop running around the playground or playing with friends. Keeping these activities special just for the car rides can really help with the transition! Some options may include:
-
- Reusable sticker books
- Coloring pages or books
- Special car toys
- A favorite “leaving the fun place” party song
- A small snack
…and what if the tantrum still occurs?
It’s okay: your child is a child and some big emotions are to be expected. You can honor their emotions while still holding your ground. Keep them safe, work to co-regulate with them, and plan on using some different strategies next time. It’s a learning experience for everyone and you are doing great!
What would you add to this list? Comment below!
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