Are your child’s tantrums really that bad? Could they be even worse than you realize? Take the Tantrum Test to find out!
You will see a list of tips and tricks to help you with everything from mild to very intense tantrums. It only will only take a few minutes to complete the quiz and it is only 10 questions.
Simply click on your answer to see how many points are assigned to it and keep tally of the number of points you get. Your total points determines your results.
Note: This is not a diagnostic form. It is merely a way to look at your child’s tantrum behavior objectively. Regardless of the results you get, if you have concerns about your child’s behavior, contact us or your pediatrician.
1) When your child is really upset, do they whine or fuss?
Yes, this makes up the majority of the tantrum
0 points
Only at the beginning and then they escalate
1 point
Not really. They go straight into hysterics or unintelligible screaming (zero to a hundred)
3 points
2) Do they cry (with tears on their face) when they tantrum?
Sometimes, like a few crocodile tears
1 point
It’s often a crying fit with lots of tears
2 points
They often cry so hard or for so long that they are red in the face
4 points
3) How about falling to the floor or flopping themselves down, do they do that?
0 points
2 points
4 points
4) Do they stomp or slam their hands in anger?
0 points
1 point
3 points
5) Do they engage in any screaming?
Never, they don’t tend to get a lot of volume going
0 points
Sometimes they scream, but they have to be really upset
1 point
Nearly every time they get upset, they scream for a long time
4 points
6) Do they break things when they tantrum?
0 points
Infrequently and clearly by accident
1 point
They break things on purpose when they tantrum
4 points
7) Have they ever injured themselves during a tantrum?
0 points
By accident, but it’s very rare
1 point
They try to hurt themselves on purpose (self hitting, self biting, self pinching, head banging etc.)
5 points
8) Have they ever injured anyone else during a tantrum?
0 points
By accident and it’s very rare
1 point
They try to hurt others on purpose (hitting, punching, kicking, pinching, biting, etc.)
5 points
9) What are the tantrum triggers like?
They have triggers that seem normal
1 point
They have clear triggers that may seem a bit extreme
2 points
Anything can be a trigger and it seems like everything triggers a massive reaction
4 points
10) How well do they calm down?
Within 10 minutes, they are usually back to normal
1 point
Within an hour, they are usually back to normal
2 points
It can take over an hour to get back to normal
4 points
Add up your points and click the level that fits your score to see your results and get some tips on how to help your child now:
Very mild and normal tantrum behavior
Congratulations! What you are experiencing is generally very normal! This does not, however, mean that it’s acceptable. If your child is over the age of 5, it’s high time to help them learn a new skill set and if tantrums are getting in the way of your daily life, it doesn’t matter the intensity: something needs to be done. With this level of tantrum, you could consider creating a calm down ritual, something that your child can turn to as they begin to feel upset in order to bring themselves back down and get back to a place where they can communicate. This can include deep breathing or a self-hug, but should be customized to your child’s needs and preferences.
Mild or moderate tantrums that are likely normal (and may include the occasional blow out)
Yes, these fits are a pain in the behind and exhausting for everyone involved, but they are likely pretty normal. If your child is over three or four, they should be developing skills beyond this and no matter what the severity of tantrums are, if they are getting in the way of your daily life something needs to be done. With this level of tantrum behavior, you could consider trying a calm down ritual (see Very Mild Tantrums [scores 0-5], above) and can also consider a social story about being upset to help them learn to speak through their feelings instead of just reacting to them.
If you are seeing lots and lots of milder tantrums or a mix of pretty doable and pretty intense tantrums, I would suggest that you check with your pediatrician before moving forward. Pain, sickness, and injury can cause flareups in behavior and you want to make sure they are medically clear before moving forward. After that, schedule a consultation with us. It’s free and we will be able to either give you specific advice to fit you situation so that you can make changes on your own or schedule you for further consultation if that’s appropriate.
Consistently intense tantrums
What you are seeing is likely not normal, don’t-worry-about-it behavior. You should seek support from your pediatrician to make sure there is not an underlying medical issue as pain and discomfort can make behavior much more extreme (when something is ouchy, we react more). They may make additional referrals. Once everything is medically clear, schedule a consultation with us. It’s free and we will be able to help assess why these extreme behaviors are occurring and work with you to develop a new skill set for your child to use.
In the meantime, there are a few things that you can do include preparing an area for your child to use when they need to cool down (remove breakables, add in soft things so that flopping or throwing are not dangerous, etc.) and practicing talking through being upset when they are calm.
Very Intense Tantrums
This is not healthy behavior and you should seek support.
If you are experiencing intense or very intense tantrums, seek support from your pediatrician to make sure there is not an underlying medical issue as pain and discomfort can make behavior much more extreme. They may refer you to a psychologist or they may say it’s simply a behavioral issue. Either way, know we are here for consultation and can provide services when appropriate. If you would like to move forward with our services, schedule a consultation with us. It’s free and we will be able to help assess why these extreme behaviors are occurring and work with you to develop a new skill set for your child to use.
Until you are able to get support though this issue, focus on safety safety safety. Whatever triggers you can safely remove, do so. Prepare as much of the environment for safety as possible by keeping large or easily swung/thrown toys and items put away when not in use (e.g, bats, toy xylophones, doll houses, coasters, TV remote, etc.) and keep chairs pushed in.
No matter what you are working through, we are here to help. Remember, bad tantrums do not make you a bad parent or your child a bad child. Things can and will get better. Click here to schedule your free Discovery Call.
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